Breakfast Speakers

Each month at the WBE Breakfast we have an inspirational speaker. Thank you to all of our speakers!  Our speaker for March 2007 was:

Alice Cunningham

Thank you for that wonderful introduction and for inviting me to speak to you

today.   It’s International Women’s Day. What a great day to meet and talk about

empowerment and ways to give back to the community.

And, a special thanks to Nancy Scholl for making the arrangements and

making sure that what I am about to say will be relevant for you.  So, no, I won’t

be speaking about how to start a successful business or how to work with your

husband for 30 years without getting a divorce, going bankrupt or crazy, or about

hot tubbing for better health, longevity and less stress which are the topics that

I’m passionate about.

Instead, I’m going to ask a question: How many of you are familiar with the best

selling book: “The Secret”? It’s one of Oprah’s favorites now and there’s an

accompanying DVD. Not to give the plot away, but the secret is about the law of

attraction, right? What you attract into your life.. is it what you want?  Does it

make you happy? etc. I’ll share some stories about how the those laws of

attraction worked in my own life and then give you a scientific source for putting

the law of attraction to work for you and finally what’s philanthropy got to do with

this!  So let’s have some fun…

In the fall of 2002, I received an email about a Japanese antiquities sale that was

coming up.  I didn’t know where they got my name, but I’ve always been a fan of

old kimonos, temple bells, stone sculpture, pottery, tansu and the like.  I went on

opening day and was enchanted. The smell of old paper & wax, of incense and

Page two, WBE talk March 8, 2007

wood. And the treasures were labeled with their Japanese names and what they

were used for in Japan. It was literally a museum. The sale ran for 11 days and I

went every day-sometimes twice-morning and night. Want to attract a Scorpio?

Tell her that everything was wholesale and that new things were put out every

day as items sold. I couldn’t stay away.  I bought my share of treasures but at

the end of 11 days felt rather empty. Since I didn’t have the sale to go to, how

would I spend my time?  That was soon fixed as I got back into my regular

schedule and stopped “living in Japan”.

Two weeks later, I had a voice mail from a vendor. Call me she said before you

hear this on the grapevine.  I called her right away.  “You won our contest,” she

said.  “Contest? Contest,” I said. “Excellent. Two cases of product, works for me.” 

“No. It’s a trip,” she said. “A trip?”  Reno, I thought. Maybe San Francisco.   “No,”

she said. You won our Grand prize. You get your choice of a trip to Provence,

Tuscany, Tahiti, The Serengeti or…..Kyoto-the old capital of Japan.   We went to

Japan for three weeks and had a fantastic time.

I attracted that trip. I was so wound up, so immersed in Japan that I was living

there in my mind. And it was natural…not forced. I didn’t consciously say to

myself I want a trip to Japan..but I did. What you think about you attract. Right?

So, What are you thinking about? Are you thinking the thoughts that will attract

what you want in life?

Later that year I picked up a book at the U Book store called “The Luck Factor”

Page three, WBE talk March 8, 2007

by a professor of psychology in England, Dr. Richard Wiseman. At the checkout 

stand was a notice that he was coming to the bookstore for a reading the

following week.  I finished the book and went to the reading. It turned out that he

had spent the past 15 years studying luck through surveys and experiments. 

And, talking about luck is really about that law of attraction right?

Dr. Wiseman used a simple quiz to test thousands of people to see if they were

lucky or unlucky according to 4 principles or guiding forces behind luck. It seems

that lucky people generate their own good fortune via these four principles.  One,

lucky people are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities…i.e. they

strike up conversations in the grocery check out line, they ask questions of

strangers. They take social risks. Two, lucky people make lucky decisions by

listening to their intuition…or trusting their gut. Three, they create self-fulfilling

prophesies via positive expectations…they believe that good things will happen

to them and four, lucky people adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck

into good. In other words, they can reframe what to others would be a tragedy

into something good!  “A broken leg? Not the biggest tragedy in the world, it

could have been worse. I’m so lucky.” As an example of how not to reframe,

one particularly unlucky person happened to win a lotto jackpot. When Dr.

Wiseman called him to ask how an unlucky person could win the lotto,

The man replied…I’ll tell you how unlucky I am.  The night I won the jackpot,

another bloke had me same numbers and I had to share the winnings!”

Page four, WBE talk March 8, 2007

Dr. Wiseman set up a luck school to train lucky people to be luckier and unlucky

people to be lucky. At the conclusion 80% of the unlucky people reported that

they were more satisfied with their lives, happier and luckier.  Now keep those

luck principles and the law of attraction in mind as I shift gears slightly.

A few years ago a good friend said to me: “You have a wonderful husband, a

lovely home and a successful business. Why aren’t you happy? Why aren’t you

ecstatic about your life?” Now that was a wake up call. As I pondered that (and

we are still friends), I heard about a book, “Falling Awake” novel about lucid

dreaming which I’ve been interested in for years.  I went to half.com to order it

and saw another book with the same title, which was a self-help book. On a

whim, I decided to order both. The novel was non-too good and quickly forgotten.

The self-help “Falling Awake” I read one Saturday.  It turned my thinking

around. I was on a high for two weeks. What the author, Dave Ellis, said made so

much sense, it resonated with me. Dave’s mission in life is to develop thousands

of strategies that will help millions of people all over the world improve their lives

ten fold. He’s personally given millions away.  Dave thinks really big.  I’ve been to

two Falling awake workshops and continue to use the principles in the book

which is FREE on his website www.fallingawake.com.  I consciously use his

principles on a daily basis.

Two of his principles for life transformation are celebrate and contribute.  I’m sure

you can all see how celebrate-that is celebrating your good fortune and all that

Page five, WBE talk March 8, 2007

you have- relates back to the law of attraction and the principles of luck? If 

you’re celebrating-you’re attracting, believe me. Every night before I fall asleep I

celebrate no less than 10 things that occurred during the day.  This strategy puts

me in a really good mood for tranquil sleep and reinforces the habit of

celebration.

Now the contribute part probably comes naturally to most of you. Seattle is a very

giving city in terms of contributions as a percentage per capita compared with

other cities.  Of course, there are many ways to contribute in addition to giving

money. As people age, a life of meaning is more important than acquiring

possessions. Study after study has shown that it’s not money in your later years

that makes you happy-it’s a life of meaning. At a certain age, most people

transition from being a guest on the planet to being a host. There’s a take charge

attitude with that transition.   Simply going along for the ride is giving up your

power to be an agent of change.  I suspect that most of you are at the host stage.

Getting back to Dave Ellis at Falling Awake for a minute, at his workshops we

spent many hours doing exercises to uncover what we really wanted. Desires

make you desirable is one of Dave’s best ideas. At the end of these exercises it

became so clear that material things were absent from our lists.  As we got

deeper, we found that what we truly desired where things that affected the

planet-like peace, and an end to global warming and cures for diseases.  The

Page six, WBE talk March 8, 2007

meaning was in the good we could do for others….no matter how small

our contribution could be towards those ends. I think you’ll find if you do the

exercises that deep down that’s what you really want, too.  The meaning that

comes from building a community and a culture of caring.

Another part of my effort to turn myself around-remember the question my good

friend asked me? Basically why wasn’t I happy when I had so much?”

I joined the Washington Women’s Foundation. Founded in Seattle in 1995 by

Colleen Willoughby also a founder of City Club as a way for women to learn

about philanthropy.  Did you know that for the first time in history, women own

over 60% of the wealth in the United States. And, our dollars, as Colleen says

put us in a uniquely powerful position to invest wisely in our communities and

have a substantial, positive impact on the lives of others. So Washington

Women’s Foundation is like a school with hands on giving experience.  Each of

our 450 members contributes $2300. a year for membership. One thousand can

be sent to a non-profit of your choice. Another thousand goes into the pooled

grant fund from which we fund projects for up to $100,000 in 5 areas: arts,

education, environment, health, social services. The members recommend

projects for funding and we divide up into committees to study the requests and

recommend 3 for site visits and eventually the entire membership votes on ten

proposals.  We then fund 5 one in each area: arts, education, environment,

health and social services. We have given over 5 million as we lived our motto of

Page seven, WBE talk March 8, 2007

building stronger communities through informed giving.  Let me tell you, giving

$100,000. away is a “kick in the pants” as one board member so eloquently

phrased it.  We believe that bigger grants make a bigger impact.  So we limit our

grants to one in each area.  The grants designation day is the highlight of my

year.  I know you can feel my passion for  this organization and the contributions

we’ve made and how much I enjoy being a part of it.

What are the benefits to membership?  We get to learn about cutting edge

projects that grow out of community needs,  meet extraordinary women form

all segments of the community, take part in educational programs that will help

us realize our leadership potential, join with community leaders to discuss

community needs, explore new ways to be a force for change through sound

social investing.  And, especially for me, I found my passion which is the

environment.  And, we have influenced social investing nationwide: women in

18 cities across the country have started foundations using ours as a role model.

You may be thinking, wow! I’d love to be a member but I don’t have $2300. 

But I’ll bet that you could find $20. a week or even $30. Suppose you save a $20.

bill every week for a year and put it in an envelope and you had a commitment

from 9 other women in this room to do the same and created your own giving

circle to make wise social investments and to learn about work that was being

done in the community that makes a positive impact in the lives of others.  And

you each recommended a non-profit in an area that was close to your heart and

Page eight, WBE talk March 8, 2007

met  before your breakfast here or outside of this time and place to discuss your

chosen area and then voted to pool all of the money to one non-profit.  That

would be $10,400.  Give the $10,000 to the non-profit and use the $400 to treat

yourselves to a great celebratory dinner. The learning potential would be

tremendous. You could have the director or one of the beneficiaries of your

donation be a speaker at one of the WBE breakfasts. In the process, you’d find

non-profits doing work that would stir your hearts, ignite your imagination and

stretch your brain.  Perhaps you could get involved beyond giving money. You’d

be laying a foundation for that law of attraction and for your next step and you’d

be in a great position to making a change at mid-life or going into pre-retirement.

There are hundreds of non-profits that have been started in and around Seattle

by people in their post retirement years because they found their passion and

acted on it!!

Now, I’m not talking about  “life-driven gifts” related to your past and present

activities, like donations to faith based organizations or your college alma mater. 

which I know you all make.  And, I’m not talking here about  “impulse driven gifts”

such as tsunami relief or Hurricane Katrina that aren’t planned but come from an

emotional response to a tragedy.  I’m not talking about  “friend gifts” that go to

organizations that friends are involved with. You know, when a friend calls you to

sit at her table at the YWCA luncheon in two weeks.  I’m encouraging you to

breakout, step up and consider “strategic gifts” that go towards a focused

mission.  I believe you can make an impact, regardless of your income level. 

Page nine, WBE talk March 8, 2007

What is the issue you’re trying to affect? What are you passionate about that

you can change with your giving? Your focus can be as broad a topic as the

“environment” or it could be narrowed to “saving Puget Sound” or cleaning up a

beach near your home. Again, no matter what your income level is, you can

become a strategic giver.  That’s where you’ll find meaning as you make

conscious social  investments.  The giving will become far more satisfying

because you’ll be personally involved.  You’ll have many new things to think

about. You’ll be setting up your own law of attraction, increasing your luck. 

And, for $44/week, you can join the Washington Women’s Foundation and really

dig deeper into this whole aspect of life like I did. 

I challenge you to take steps now to becoming a philanthropist through strategic

giving.